The importance of failure
I read an interesting commentary in an investment magazine that is incredibly applicable to faith, our life, raising kids and our nation.
"So I just it's incredibly important to note that when you don't allow failure, you get more failure. When you take away the price of personal risk in your personal decisions, you get much more risk taking. So we are harvesting what we've sown."
I have had a series of conversations with folks about this issue with kids. From a school standpoint - allowing reckless behavior on school grounds - drinking on campus, cheating on tests, etc. If the punishment is a slap on the wrist, kids will be emboldened to push the limits even farther. Children push limits for a reason. They want to know there are some. They might protest but the protecting limits provides them with a subtle level of comfort they deep down crave. They instinctively are scared of the wide-open range - they know they cannot handle life with no rules, no boundaries and their instincts are right. They'll never thank us but you can almost see it in their eyes once they understand the rules.
I didn't drink in high school because my Dad made it perfectly clear - if you drink and I catch you, I will sell your car and you'll not drive again. I had saved my money to buy a portion of my car so this was a real threat. He also made it clear to not fool myself into thinking he didn't mean it. I knew he meant it. I knew there were boundaries and to this day, I am so grateful for his loving boundaries. He made me fully understand that there was a price to my decisions and understanding that, I didn't take the risks. Without the risk of loss, I would have tested the limits.
Oftentimes schools will fall back on honor codes as preventive measures to stop this kind of behavior. While I understand why we have honor codes -- that doesn't mean the teachers/administrators/parents shouldn't watch kids like hawks. We have speed limits in America and we are supposed to follow the honor code and not speed but we also have a police force to make sure we don't...to protect us from our own nature.
The Bible is full of God's loving boundaries on man. God knows. He knows our nature and he knows the enemy. He knows we will push the boundaries to see what we can get away with and in so doing, we ignore the possible cost.
Proverbs 7. If you haven't read this passage - I suggest you do. It is a powerful passage.
A wise man looks out his window down on the street below. He sees a younger man walking down the street and farther down the street, he sees a woman waiting on him. The lamb headed for the slaughter. The young man is walking down the street and sees the seductive woman looking at him, waiting for him. He thinks, 'Man, she digs me'. In his head he is hearing the song "Born to be wild". In the wise man's head watching all this transpire, he is hearing the soundtrack to "Jaws" playing.
The wise man knows what is about to happen. The young man, blind to his lust and ego, just sees the bounty -- he doesn't see the cost or the consequences of what is about to transpire. The woman seduces him and says "my husband is away for a long journey and I have prepared my bed. We can make love all night long and enjoy ourselves." All of this plays to the young man's sense of self - this is all about "me", she wants "me", "I'm" the only one, she'll cheat on her husband just to be with "me".
This young man was headed down the wrong path. Death and destruction lay in wait for him along this path. The wise man, having seen this over and over shouts "go the other way, avoid her at all cost!" The lamb is led to the slaughter. Read the passage.
God allows us to have failures for a reason - they show us our weakness, we learn valuable lessons and we see our utter dependence on Him. With no "cost" to our sin, we would be emboldened to reach for even more and in so doing, pull ourselves even farther from God. Thankfully, God knows us intimately. He knows the sin we are prone to fall into and if we seek His guidance and direction, He will steer us on a path away from the lusts of our heart.
This will make no sense until you have tried it...there is freedom - great magnificent freedom - in obedience to God. Thankfully He has rescued the slaves and set us free.
Soar!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Ignore that noise over there in the tall brush...
One of Satan's most devious tricks is to convince us he isn't lurking around. He isn't here. He isn't a threat...go on, live your life the way "you" want...there are no consequences, there are no traps.
We see this in nature. The ONLY reason a lion captures a gazelle is stealth. If the lion stayed out in the open, he'd never eat. The reason he eats is that he hides. He stays in the tall grass waiting...just waiting for one gazelle to get lazy, one gazelle to ignore his instincts, one gazelle to get just a little too close to the tall grass.
The Message has a great summary of Ephesians 5:14-16 - "So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are dangerous times!"
In 1 Peter, Satan is compared to a lion - "Be on guard, you enemy - Satan - prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour."
We are at war. And yet, so many of us go about our daily lives ignoring the enemy. We send our kids off to school and simply ignore the warfare they face. There was a story last week about kids in England being faced with "education" on alternative lifestyles. They had a gay/lesbian week and read stories and watched videos on alternative lifestyles. These were young kids. Some parents were rightly concerned and took their kids out of school. The school system penalized the kids and even said they would seek to prosecute parents for taking their kids out of school. One report even said the parents could face jail time. Jail time for guarding their kids from material the parents found offensive!
We are at war. There is an enemy and he is coming after our kids very hard, very fast. It is a full-out assault and we are seemingly numb to it.
I talk to parents a lot about kids and the problems the kids face and it just amazes me how easily we dismiss behavior with, "Well, we all did that kind of stuff back when we were kids..." Don't get me wrong, I say/think that too. But then I also think, "What a minute, just because I screwed up when I was young...is that the life I want for my kids? Does it make it right?" I fear we just too easily rationalize it without the context of an enemy and warfare.
We send our kids off to hell every day in schools. That is dramatic but think about it - they go into hostile environments - teachers with agendas, curriculum that pushes themes far removed from God's word, sex, drugs, drinking, peer pressure, back-biting "friends", cliques, pressures to conform. Our kids face an all-out assault every single day. Even the little ones.
John Eldredge said in Waking the Dead - "Christianity isn't a religion about going to Sunday school, potluck suppers, being nice, holding car washes, sending our second-hand clothes off to Mexico. This is a world at war. Something large and immensely dangerous is unfolding all around us, we are caught up in it and we have been given a key role to play."
I read this today on a blog. I don't know this person or where they are spiritually but I have some hunches. It appears they are talking about walking away from a relationship and perhaps even a commitment. I share this not to beat on this person but to use it as an example of how far off the path we have traveled.
"Sometimes we need to part from this to have a fresh start. Sometimes we need to separate from the past so we can grow, transform and bloom into our highest expression of self in this lifetime. Sometimes we need to re-create an entire new life. Sometimes we have to say goodbye when things no longer fulfill a need, or make us unhappy. Life is short, why should we waste it on anything but happiness?"
Is that what life is about...my transformation into the highest expression of "self"? I was made in "self's" image not God's? Life for many of us has become simply the pursuit of happiness. "God loves me because I am happy." This person is saying sometimes it is necessary to just walk away from relationships/commitments if they no longer fulfill us or make us happy. They hauntingly end it with "Why should we waste life on anything but happiness?"
The pursuit of happiness would be just fine if there was no enemy. In Eden, happiness was freely abounding. But in this life, there is an enemy and we are at war. A pursuit of finding/doing whatever makes us happy will lead us into a trap. If the gazelle just pursued what made it happy, it would eat whatever grass looked appealing. It would stray from the pack. It wouldn't fear the tall grass - that grass would look tasty. And the gazelle would quickly become someone else's lunch.
We cannot ignore the presence of the enemy and just simply pursue the happy life. It is incredibly naive and very dangerous. To do so gives Satan open field to take us out.
God doesn't want us leading lives of misery - I'm not saying that. He came and liberated us so that we might have abundant life. God gets the last word. We know how the battle will end. God will be victorious. He defeated death at Calvary. "It IS finished"...the battle is won. My pleading is that we pay attention to the war going on around us. Pray for your children. Wrap them in prayer as they go off to school. Pay attention to what they are doing. Watch the cell phones, texting and email. Kids can so easily fall prey to the predator -- we need to be on guard.
Thankfully and gracefully however the war HAS been won!
Soar!
One of Satan's most devious tricks is to convince us he isn't lurking around. He isn't here. He isn't a threat...go on, live your life the way "you" want...there are no consequences, there are no traps.
We see this in nature. The ONLY reason a lion captures a gazelle is stealth. If the lion stayed out in the open, he'd never eat. The reason he eats is that he hides. He stays in the tall grass waiting...just waiting for one gazelle to get lazy, one gazelle to ignore his instincts, one gazelle to get just a little too close to the tall grass.
The Message has a great summary of Ephesians 5:14-16 - "So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are dangerous times!"
In 1 Peter, Satan is compared to a lion - "Be on guard, you enemy - Satan - prowls around like a lion looking for someone to devour."
We are at war. And yet, so many of us go about our daily lives ignoring the enemy. We send our kids off to school and simply ignore the warfare they face. There was a story last week about kids in England being faced with "education" on alternative lifestyles. They had a gay/lesbian week and read stories and watched videos on alternative lifestyles. These were young kids. Some parents were rightly concerned and took their kids out of school. The school system penalized the kids and even said they would seek to prosecute parents for taking their kids out of school. One report even said the parents could face jail time. Jail time for guarding their kids from material the parents found offensive!
We are at war. There is an enemy and he is coming after our kids very hard, very fast. It is a full-out assault and we are seemingly numb to it.
I talk to parents a lot about kids and the problems the kids face and it just amazes me how easily we dismiss behavior with, "Well, we all did that kind of stuff back when we were kids..." Don't get me wrong, I say/think that too. But then I also think, "What a minute, just because I screwed up when I was young...is that the life I want for my kids? Does it make it right?" I fear we just too easily rationalize it without the context of an enemy and warfare.
We send our kids off to hell every day in schools. That is dramatic but think about it - they go into hostile environments - teachers with agendas, curriculum that pushes themes far removed from God's word, sex, drugs, drinking, peer pressure, back-biting "friends", cliques, pressures to conform. Our kids face an all-out assault every single day. Even the little ones.
John Eldredge said in Waking the Dead - "Christianity isn't a religion about going to Sunday school, potluck suppers, being nice, holding car washes, sending our second-hand clothes off to Mexico. This is a world at war. Something large and immensely dangerous is unfolding all around us, we are caught up in it and we have been given a key role to play."
I read this today on a blog. I don't know this person or where they are spiritually but I have some hunches. It appears they are talking about walking away from a relationship and perhaps even a commitment. I share this not to beat on this person but to use it as an example of how far off the path we have traveled.
"Sometimes we need to part from this to have a fresh start. Sometimes we need to separate from the past so we can grow, transform and bloom into our highest expression of self in this lifetime. Sometimes we need to re-create an entire new life. Sometimes we have to say goodbye when things no longer fulfill a need, or make us unhappy. Life is short, why should we waste it on anything but happiness?"
Is that what life is about...my transformation into the highest expression of "self"? I was made in "self's" image not God's? Life for many of us has become simply the pursuit of happiness. "God loves me because I am happy." This person is saying sometimes it is necessary to just walk away from relationships/commitments if they no longer fulfill us or make us happy. They hauntingly end it with "Why should we waste life on anything but happiness?"
The pursuit of happiness would be just fine if there was no enemy. In Eden, happiness was freely abounding. But in this life, there is an enemy and we are at war. A pursuit of finding/doing whatever makes us happy will lead us into a trap. If the gazelle just pursued what made it happy, it would eat whatever grass looked appealing. It would stray from the pack. It wouldn't fear the tall grass - that grass would look tasty. And the gazelle would quickly become someone else's lunch.
We cannot ignore the presence of the enemy and just simply pursue the happy life. It is incredibly naive and very dangerous. To do so gives Satan open field to take us out.
God doesn't want us leading lives of misery - I'm not saying that. He came and liberated us so that we might have abundant life. God gets the last word. We know how the battle will end. God will be victorious. He defeated death at Calvary. "It IS finished"...the battle is won. My pleading is that we pay attention to the war going on around us. Pray for your children. Wrap them in prayer as they go off to school. Pay attention to what they are doing. Watch the cell phones, texting and email. Kids can so easily fall prey to the predator -- we need to be on guard.
Thankfully and gracefully however the war HAS been won!
Soar!
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Who can explain?
My debates with old friends continue around the theme of "can you really believe the Bible?" I have not shied away - I have pressed boldly into the void.
But something pretty simple struck me today - "who can explain"...
Who can explain exactly how "life" works?
Who can explain the beauty of spring?
Who can explain the majesty of the mountains?
Who can explain the warmth of the spring sun and just how good that makes you feel?
Who can explain the perfect v-formation of a flock of geese?
Who can explain the miracle of a young child's giggle?
Who can explain why the earth is in exactly the right place, so the temperature is exactly right to sustain life?
Who can explain why our planet stays in its perfect rotation?
Who can explain why there is just enough of a balance of warmth/cold, spring/fall, sun/darkness, light/rain, wind/humidity, deserts/ice and how all that stays in place?
Who can explain the seasons - the youth of spring, the maturity of summer, the harvest of fall and death of winter and how that exactly mimmics human life?
Who can explain why love feels so good and can hurt so bad?
Who can explain why we even have emotions? I mean if we "evolved", why do we have emotions? Surely, emotions would have been "evolved" out by now. What scientific good do they serve?
Who can explain why humans have the emotional need for a mate, for the completeness of sex (beyond the act itself), for family? Animals simply reproduce - they aren't driven by the need for relationship, completeness that comes from family. Why does man have these desires?
Who can explain why the sunsets are so pretty?
Who can explain why spring is so magical - lush green lawns, daylillies, azaleas, etc?
Who can explain and why does man obsess with trying?
Ronald Reagan said of his atheist son, "There was one thing he had long yearned to do for his atheist son. He wanted to serve his son the perfect gourmet dinner, to have him enjoy the meal, and then to ask him if he believed there was a cook."
Why do we so enjoy this world and all its blessings - our intelligence, our looks, our family, the miracle of children and all that is listed above...and insist on giving the credit to something other than the Creator?
There is a cook and He has prepared a glorious meal for all who will accept.
Soar!
My debates with old friends continue around the theme of "can you really believe the Bible?" I have not shied away - I have pressed boldly into the void.
But something pretty simple struck me today - "who can explain"...
Who can explain exactly how "life" works?
Who can explain the beauty of spring?
Who can explain the majesty of the mountains?
Who can explain the warmth of the spring sun and just how good that makes you feel?
Who can explain the perfect v-formation of a flock of geese?
Who can explain the miracle of a young child's giggle?
Who can explain why the earth is in exactly the right place, so the temperature is exactly right to sustain life?
Who can explain why our planet stays in its perfect rotation?
Who can explain why there is just enough of a balance of warmth/cold, spring/fall, sun/darkness, light/rain, wind/humidity, deserts/ice and how all that stays in place?
Who can explain the seasons - the youth of spring, the maturity of summer, the harvest of fall and death of winter and how that exactly mimmics human life?
Who can explain why love feels so good and can hurt so bad?
Who can explain why we even have emotions? I mean if we "evolved", why do we have emotions? Surely, emotions would have been "evolved" out by now. What scientific good do they serve?
Who can explain why humans have the emotional need for a mate, for the completeness of sex (beyond the act itself), for family? Animals simply reproduce - they aren't driven by the need for relationship, completeness that comes from family. Why does man have these desires?
Who can explain why the sunsets are so pretty?
Who can explain why spring is so magical - lush green lawns, daylillies, azaleas, etc?
Who can explain and why does man obsess with trying?
Ronald Reagan said of his atheist son, "There was one thing he had long yearned to do for his atheist son. He wanted to serve his son the perfect gourmet dinner, to have him enjoy the meal, and then to ask him if he believed there was a cook."
Why do we so enjoy this world and all its blessings - our intelligence, our looks, our family, the miracle of children and all that is listed above...and insist on giving the credit to something other than the Creator?
There is a cook and He has prepared a glorious meal for all who will accept.
Soar!
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