Tough people
John Eldredge said "Be kind to every single person you encounter because every one you come in contact with is under some kind of attack."
It is a good point. We so often think, "What does he have against me? Why is he being such a jerk?" When we have no idea what battles he struggling with. We all struggle. Each of us has a wound (some have more than one) that has haunted us our entire life. Each of us carries around a chain of bondage to some person we struggle with or some past mistake we can't seem to shake.
Haunting - but true.
My brother in law attends a dynamic church in Birmingham and he had this posted from his church on his refrigerator. It ties in with this theme:
Seven words of Passion
1) Forgive everyone who is trying to ruin your life.
2) Help others who are experiencing your same struggle.
3) Be sure you've taken care of those near you.
4) Aim your hard questions at God, not man.
5) Be human enough to acknowledge your need.
6) Be assured, there is a purpose and there is an end.
7) Finally, surrender your life to God and let it go.
I struggle a great deal with a broken relationship. I can't seem to let it go but I have to. I cannot reconcile with the other party because the other party doesn't want to reconcile with me. God doesn't command reconciliation - He commands forgiveness. I need to forgive them so I can move on and they need to forgive me so they can move on. While I can't do anything about their forgiveness of me -- I can forgive them.
These seven words of passion help me in this struggle. When I think they are trying to ruin my life (they aren't - that is the enemy), I just need to forgive them.
When I run into others who struggle with this same issue, I need to open up and share my struggle so that I might be able to help them with the same issue.
I need to focus my attention not on them but rather on those closest to me and to be sure I am taking care of them. We waste so much time worrying about those that truly don't care about us that we ignore those around us who love us and need our attention. To spend time fretting about the struggle, talking about it, worrying about just gives more and more power to it. The enemy loves this. He wants us to wallow in it and to stay trapped in bondage. He hates forgiveness because that takes him out of the equation entirely.
When the tough times resurface, I need to aim my tough questions at God not the person I am struggling with. I'm not going to resolve anything by backing the other party into the corner with my well-articulated summary of the battle. I need to spend my time talking to God and giving Him the hard questions. He can deal with it.
I need to be human enough to acknowledge my need. I need this person. I need a relationship with them. It is OK to admit that I need it and that it hurts that we can't have a relationship.
I need to rest on the assurance that in all things, God has a purpose and I can focus on the end. There is an end to this in Glory. One day, the pain and suffering of broken relationships will end.
Lastly, I need to surrender to God. Quit fighting, quit keeping score and quit looking for yet another snub. Let it go. Quit giving power to it. Give it all over to God. Let the Healer heal it.
Soar!
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Freedom
Brad Evangelista gave the message at Otis' farm last Thursday night. In Brad's usual fashion, it was passionate and energetic. What struck me was the point of freedom. Galatians 5:1 "It is for freedom that Christ has set you free, therefore do not be entangled again by the yoke of slavery."
It is for freedom that Christ set you free. That is an interesting comment...freedom so I could be free. Free so i can be free. Why would Christ say something like this?
How many of us are still trapped by religion? How many of us are Christians yet are still bound up by a whole bunch of rules. How many of us live our lives like prisoners? How many of us are entangled by the yoke of slavery?
Christ came to set us free but He also came to give us freedom. The cross is "free". The battle was won at the cross. If you accept Christ as your savior, you are forgiven and you are free. But He came to give us freedom -- "it is for freedom that Christ has set you free.." It is for freedom (the goal) that Christ has set you free (the act). The goal is freedom - that is the resurrection. The power in what Christ did wasn't so much in dying on the cross. The power came in the resurrection.
Too often, the church focuses on the "free" part and ignores the freedom. He came to give us freedom. He came to give us freedom from the chains and yoke of slavery that tie us down. Unfortunately, we live within fences of "religion" that tell us what we can/can't do and a bunch of rules. We don't live passionately or dangerously because we fear what others will think of us. We are free - we'll go to heaven - but we don't enjoy the freedom Christ came to give us.
Brad pictured this with a great story. When he was a young kid, he had a paper route. Everyday, he'd mount his Schwin and head off to deliver papers. A block away from his house lived a huge dog that was half wolf, half bear. The dog was huge and the dog hated Brad. Everyday, the dog would see him coming and everyday, he'd sit up on his porch and start barking as Brad approached. As Brad got closer, the dog would explode off the porch and tear towards Brad with blood dripping from his mouth. Right as Brad got to the house the dog would be in full sprint ready to take Brad apart running as fast as his four paws would deliver him toward his lunch. As Brad got to the dog, he'd pull out a paper. Right as the dog was about to eat Brad, he'd screech to halt at the fence that separated him from his meal. As Brad rolled by, he'd take his paper and drag it against the fence all the way down to the corner. This aggravated his adversary and gave Brad a daily victory against the beast.
One day Brad came rolling by and the daily ritual played itself out again -- this time with a shocking turn. As Brad approached, the beast leapt from the porch and charged him. Brad pulled his paper out to aggravate the dog and grinned in anticipation. Right as he approached the fence, his discovered in terror that the fence that separated him from the dog was gone! There was nothing to stop the dog from eating him for lunch. The dog approached faster than ever and Brad knew he was dead meat. He stood up on the seat of the bike and was prepared to kick the dog and swat him with the paper. But right as the dog was about to leave the yard and knock Brad off the bike...he slammed to a stop right where the fence used to be. The dog didn't know the fence was gone and out of habit, he stopped short.
The dog had freedom but he didn't know it. He remained trapped in the prison of his own making. In his mind, he was forever tied to that yard. Someone came along and removed the barrier that entrapped him but he didn't know freedom was his for the taking (or that Brad was his lunch for the taking!).
It is a great picture for us. Christ has taken down the fences that trap us in the ordinary life. He came that we might have life and have it abundantly. Seize the day!
Soar!
Brad Evangelista gave the message at Otis' farm last Thursday night. In Brad's usual fashion, it was passionate and energetic. What struck me was the point of freedom. Galatians 5:1 "It is for freedom that Christ has set you free, therefore do not be entangled again by the yoke of slavery."
It is for freedom that Christ set you free. That is an interesting comment...freedom so I could be free. Free so i can be free. Why would Christ say something like this?
How many of us are still trapped by religion? How many of us are Christians yet are still bound up by a whole bunch of rules. How many of us live our lives like prisoners? How many of us are entangled by the yoke of slavery?
Christ came to set us free but He also came to give us freedom. The cross is "free". The battle was won at the cross. If you accept Christ as your savior, you are forgiven and you are free. But He came to give us freedom -- "it is for freedom that Christ has set you free.." It is for freedom (the goal) that Christ has set you free (the act). The goal is freedom - that is the resurrection. The power in what Christ did wasn't so much in dying on the cross. The power came in the resurrection.
Too often, the church focuses on the "free" part and ignores the freedom. He came to give us freedom. He came to give us freedom from the chains and yoke of slavery that tie us down. Unfortunately, we live within fences of "religion" that tell us what we can/can't do and a bunch of rules. We don't live passionately or dangerously because we fear what others will think of us. We are free - we'll go to heaven - but we don't enjoy the freedom Christ came to give us.
Brad pictured this with a great story. When he was a young kid, he had a paper route. Everyday, he'd mount his Schwin and head off to deliver papers. A block away from his house lived a huge dog that was half wolf, half bear. The dog was huge and the dog hated Brad. Everyday, the dog would see him coming and everyday, he'd sit up on his porch and start barking as Brad approached. As Brad got closer, the dog would explode off the porch and tear towards Brad with blood dripping from his mouth. Right as Brad got to the house the dog would be in full sprint ready to take Brad apart running as fast as his four paws would deliver him toward his lunch. As Brad got to the dog, he'd pull out a paper. Right as the dog was about to eat Brad, he'd screech to halt at the fence that separated him from his meal. As Brad rolled by, he'd take his paper and drag it against the fence all the way down to the corner. This aggravated his adversary and gave Brad a daily victory against the beast.
One day Brad came rolling by and the daily ritual played itself out again -- this time with a shocking turn. As Brad approached, the beast leapt from the porch and charged him. Brad pulled his paper out to aggravate the dog and grinned in anticipation. Right as he approached the fence, his discovered in terror that the fence that separated him from the dog was gone! There was nothing to stop the dog from eating him for lunch. The dog approached faster than ever and Brad knew he was dead meat. He stood up on the seat of the bike and was prepared to kick the dog and swat him with the paper. But right as the dog was about to leave the yard and knock Brad off the bike...he slammed to a stop right where the fence used to be. The dog didn't know the fence was gone and out of habit, he stopped short.
The dog had freedom but he didn't know it. He remained trapped in the prison of his own making. In his mind, he was forever tied to that yard. Someone came along and removed the barrier that entrapped him but he didn't know freedom was his for the taking (or that Brad was his lunch for the taking!).
It is a great picture for us. Christ has taken down the fences that trap us in the ordinary life. He came that we might have life and have it abundantly. Seize the day!
Soar!
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Servant
We all want to be thought of as a servant. Servant leadership is a management buzz word - especially in Columbus. Jimmy Blanchard and Bill Turner "wrote the book" on Servant leadership. It is a noble cause. It is worthy.
We all aspire to being a servant - to put other's needs ahead of ours, to quietly serve others not really caring if our work is ever noticed. But how do we react when we are treated like a servant? What happens to us when folks take us at our word and "use" us as servants. What happens if others step on our servanthood as a step in their ladder to the top? Can servant leadership really work in a competitive work environment?
I think about it in a management role. Sandy Weill built Citigroup starting from zero. His ego was the size of Manhattan but he built a huge company and made a fortune. Jamie Dimon was his understudy all those years. When Sandy got fired from American Express, Jamie quit with him and the two set up shop with no business to run. Slowly, they began to buy businesses and cobble together what would become the largest financial services company in the world. When Sandy was at his pinnacle, he turned his back on Jamie and fired him. Jamie had crossed Sandy's daughter (who ran a division that reported to Jamie) and he wouldn't promote her. Sandy wanted her promoted so he fired his understudy and most loyal sidekick. Jamie left and became the CEO of BankOne which was bought by JPMorgan Chase (Citigroup's across town rival) and now Jamie is CEO of JPMorgan Chase. Citigroup has imploded and the press is now saying, "If only Sandy hadn't fired Jamie, Jamie would be running Citi today and Citi would likely have avoided this blow up in mortgage lending." Jamie is now widely regarded as the best CEO in banking and his JPMorgan has dodged much of the current crisis. Sandy forgot what brought him to the dance and rather than take on a servant leader role and cede authority when the time was right to Jamie, he fired him so he could have more time in the spotlight.
I think about it in the church. One of the largest churches in Columbus has recently been in turmoil. Their youth ministry program was, by far, the largest and most successful in town. Kids from all over the city were attending their ministry. Yet the pastor clashed with the youth pastor and didn't want to give him any of the spotlight in the church including forbidding him from ever speaking in a church service. The youth pastor left and that began the long and painful period of turmoil in the church. Down from more than 100 kids each week at youth functions, last week just a dozen came. Hundreds of people have left the church and they are stuggling to figure out the church's future. It is a crying shame that in trying to hold onto power, the pastor lost sight of the church's mission. Hundreds of kids passed through that church to get fed spiritually and now it looks like a ghost town and the kids are gone. He won the battle but is losing the war.
John the baptiser came to pave the way for Jesus. That was his role. He had disciples and his disciples came to him and said "This man Jesus is baptising people, what will you do?" The crowd was telling John - your role is being "taken" by Jesus, he is getting the spotlight, you'd better alter your marketing plan, you'd better step up your activities or else all the glory is going to go to Jesus.
What did John do? He quietly stepped aside and let Jesus do His thing. John was imprisoned and later beheaded. He died a servant. He knew his role and when his prominence was threatened by Jesus - he welcomed it. He knew he had done what he was called to do and now it was time to pass it all on to Jesus. John was the fullback that cleared the lane for the running back to score the touchdown. Fullbacks don't typically get much press but without them, the running back doesn't stand much of a chance. Now Jesus doesn't need anyone's help to clear the lane but He called John to a role and John fulfilled his role and then disappeared out of the spotlight.
I want to be thought of as a servant leader but truth be told, when others step on me, I get my back up and defend myself. I try to shine the light on my accomplishments, my works which flies in the face of servant leadership. The servant serves. Period. Serve!
Soar!
We all want to be thought of as a servant. Servant leadership is a management buzz word - especially in Columbus. Jimmy Blanchard and Bill Turner "wrote the book" on Servant leadership. It is a noble cause. It is worthy.
We all aspire to being a servant - to put other's needs ahead of ours, to quietly serve others not really caring if our work is ever noticed. But how do we react when we are treated like a servant? What happens to us when folks take us at our word and "use" us as servants. What happens if others step on our servanthood as a step in their ladder to the top? Can servant leadership really work in a competitive work environment?
I think about it in a management role. Sandy Weill built Citigroup starting from zero. His ego was the size of Manhattan but he built a huge company and made a fortune. Jamie Dimon was his understudy all those years. When Sandy got fired from American Express, Jamie quit with him and the two set up shop with no business to run. Slowly, they began to buy businesses and cobble together what would become the largest financial services company in the world. When Sandy was at his pinnacle, he turned his back on Jamie and fired him. Jamie had crossed Sandy's daughter (who ran a division that reported to Jamie) and he wouldn't promote her. Sandy wanted her promoted so he fired his understudy and most loyal sidekick. Jamie left and became the CEO of BankOne which was bought by JPMorgan Chase (Citigroup's across town rival) and now Jamie is CEO of JPMorgan Chase. Citigroup has imploded and the press is now saying, "If only Sandy hadn't fired Jamie, Jamie would be running Citi today and Citi would likely have avoided this blow up in mortgage lending." Jamie is now widely regarded as the best CEO in banking and his JPMorgan has dodged much of the current crisis. Sandy forgot what brought him to the dance and rather than take on a servant leader role and cede authority when the time was right to Jamie, he fired him so he could have more time in the spotlight.
I think about it in the church. One of the largest churches in Columbus has recently been in turmoil. Their youth ministry program was, by far, the largest and most successful in town. Kids from all over the city were attending their ministry. Yet the pastor clashed with the youth pastor and didn't want to give him any of the spotlight in the church including forbidding him from ever speaking in a church service. The youth pastor left and that began the long and painful period of turmoil in the church. Down from more than 100 kids each week at youth functions, last week just a dozen came. Hundreds of people have left the church and they are stuggling to figure out the church's future. It is a crying shame that in trying to hold onto power, the pastor lost sight of the church's mission. Hundreds of kids passed through that church to get fed spiritually and now it looks like a ghost town and the kids are gone. He won the battle but is losing the war.
John the baptiser came to pave the way for Jesus. That was his role. He had disciples and his disciples came to him and said "This man Jesus is baptising people, what will you do?" The crowd was telling John - your role is being "taken" by Jesus, he is getting the spotlight, you'd better alter your marketing plan, you'd better step up your activities or else all the glory is going to go to Jesus.
What did John do? He quietly stepped aside and let Jesus do His thing. John was imprisoned and later beheaded. He died a servant. He knew his role and when his prominence was threatened by Jesus - he welcomed it. He knew he had done what he was called to do and now it was time to pass it all on to Jesus. John was the fullback that cleared the lane for the running back to score the touchdown. Fullbacks don't typically get much press but without them, the running back doesn't stand much of a chance. Now Jesus doesn't need anyone's help to clear the lane but He called John to a role and John fulfilled his role and then disappeared out of the spotlight.
I want to be thought of as a servant leader but truth be told, when others step on me, I get my back up and defend myself. I try to shine the light on my accomplishments, my works which flies in the face of servant leadership. The servant serves. Period. Serve!
Soar!
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Brokenhearted
I just hung up the phone with a former co-worker and in his parting comment, he took a shot at me about a mutual client, "Listen, they are saying they will stay with you ... for now ... but they might look to do something different soon." Like a knife in the gut.
The client has told me, "I am with you" and I have to take him at his word. But the words of my former co-worker stung. I know what it is - his attempt to let me know he is in control of the situation and that I am just lucky to be hanging on. The enemy jumped all over that and started to tear at me.
Then I opened my daily email from John Eldredge...
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He heals up the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (PS 147:3)
"For some reason this has been lost in the recent offerings of the church. Perhaps it has been our pride, which has kept us from admitting we are broken. Perhaps its been the church's almost total focus on sin and the cross. But the Scripture is abundant and clear: Christ came not only to pardon us, but to heal us. He wants the glory restored. Jesus can and wants to heal your heart."
I read that within 15 seconds of hanging up the phone. The issue isn't my coworker or his insecurity or his jab at me. The issue is my heart. It is broken. I need healing and restoration and that ONLY comes from Christ. He wants me fully restored and living the abundant life - not trapped by "I'm just a lowly sinner saved by grace," or, "This is a tough life, full of hardships and trials and stress". NO, NO, NO! If we focus on our pity, we remain in pity. If we focus on our pain, we remain in pain. If we focus on the jabs of others, we remain on defense.
He came to set us FREE of all that. Free. Free and fully restored - fully restored to where we don't even have to "rise above all that pettiness" - we don't have to rise above it because we don't ever have to get down in it. We are restored!
Soar!
I just hung up the phone with a former co-worker and in his parting comment, he took a shot at me about a mutual client, "Listen, they are saying they will stay with you ... for now ... but they might look to do something different soon." Like a knife in the gut.
The client has told me, "I am with you" and I have to take him at his word. But the words of my former co-worker stung. I know what it is - his attempt to let me know he is in control of the situation and that I am just lucky to be hanging on. The enemy jumped all over that and started to tear at me.
Then I opened my daily email from John Eldredge...
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
He leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He heals up the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. (PS 147:3)
"For some reason this has been lost in the recent offerings of the church. Perhaps it has been our pride, which has kept us from admitting we are broken. Perhaps its been the church's almost total focus on sin and the cross. But the Scripture is abundant and clear: Christ came not only to pardon us, but to heal us. He wants the glory restored. Jesus can and wants to heal your heart."
I read that within 15 seconds of hanging up the phone. The issue isn't my coworker or his insecurity or his jab at me. The issue is my heart. It is broken. I need healing and restoration and that ONLY comes from Christ. He wants me fully restored and living the abundant life - not trapped by "I'm just a lowly sinner saved by grace," or, "This is a tough life, full of hardships and trials and stress". NO, NO, NO! If we focus on our pity, we remain in pity. If we focus on our pain, we remain in pain. If we focus on the jabs of others, we remain on defense.
He came to set us FREE of all that. Free. Free and fully restored - fully restored to where we don't even have to "rise above all that pettiness" - we don't have to rise above it because we don't ever have to get down in it. We are restored!
Soar!
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